On A Scale Of…

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I have made clear my dissatisfaction with the new Chocolate Chunk cookie at Starbucks. I get that they changed the recipe in an attempt to make the food healthier, however isn’t there some level of assumed risk when it comes to ordering a chocolate chip cookie? I’m not sure if it the word “chocolate” or the word “cookie” or just the combination of the two. I know, from having at one point in time mixed the dough, that chocolate chip cookies, to taste really good, require copious amounts sugar. So, Starbucks, quit taking away my risks – without first checking with me to see if I want less sugar and a gluten-free option.

Then again, I’ve also made clear my dissatisfaction with my appearance. The layer of what I refer to as “extra” around my mid section serves as a constant reminder to me of just how much sugar is in a single (giant) Starbucks chocolate chip cookie and just how much I have been successfully tempted by said cookies. Struggling with my weight is a somewhat new battle for me. I don’t think I really had the correct level of appreciation for my body. Seven months ago I smoked my last cigarette. After smoking for nearly 20 years the thought of not smoking has taken some getting used to and something had to fill the void. My addictive personality finds the act of letting go horrendously difficult.

It isn’t just what I see in the mirror that serves as the reminder for my love of food. It is also how I assume that people around me, both friend and foe, perceive me, constantly telling myself that I’m too fat. In an effort to reduce the impact of quitting smoking and to serve as a reward, I purchased a Wii gaming system and the Wii Fit Balance Board, etc. In theory it is an excellent source of motivation and influence for me to continue at least getting some exercise with some regularity. Then again until I actually lose some weight my Wii fit avatar will continue to tell me “that’s obese” every time I get on the scale.

So I am motivated by so many external sources to eat less and exercise more. And recently, within the past two or so years, I have finally been motivated internally to make some needed changes. I’m not grossly overweight (contrary to my Wii’s badgering) but I know that I can make my body and being far leaner just by changing what I chose to eat, understanding the right food is as comforting as a Chocolate Chunk cookie. I just have to remember what it looks like in the mirror.